Introduction
Welcome to the Empowering NICU Parents’ Podcast!
Our podcast is dedicated to supporting, educating, and empowering parents navigating the challenges of having a baby in the NICU.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a time to remember and honor the babies who left this world far too soon — and to support the families who carry their memory every day.
The loss of a child is life-changing, leaving an ache that never fully fades. But with time, love, and support, you slowly begin to see the light return to your eyes — a light that shines when someone lovingly says your baby’s name, or when someone incredibly special makes the effort to place it on a beautifully glowing luminary.
In this episode, I’m joined by my dear friend and former colleague, Jamie Summers, whose journey through unimaginable loss led her to a life of healing and purpose. After losing her daughter, Peyton, Jamie was unsure how to move forward. In searching for a way to keep her daughter’s memory alive, she created a small tribute that soon became something much greater. What began as a simple act of remembrance for Peyton — and for the babies of the mothers who supported her through unimaginable grief — has since blossomed into a radiant sea of light during the Wave of Light, a breathtaking display that now honors more than 2,000 babies each year on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.
Together, we talk about Peyton, the importance of finding support, real ways to offer comfort, and the incredible power of community, compassion, and connection when walking through grief. Everyone’s experience with loss looks different, but this conversation offers hope, understanding, and a reminder that healing is possible. Whether you’ve experienced loss yourself or want to better understand how to support someone who has, this is an episode you won’t want to miss. It’s a heartfelt reminder that even in our darkest moments, love can shine through — and through Jamie’s Wave of Light, you too can honor and remember your baby in the most beautiful way.
The Why Behind Empowering NICU Parents – Empowering NICU Parents' Podcast
- The Why Behind Empowering NICU Parents
- From NICU Experience to Nonprofit Mission: A Family’s Journey to Today Is a Good Day
- The Lifelong Journey and Impact of Premature Birth: What Families Should Know
- Wave of Light: Finding Light After Loss
- Culture, Belief, and a Committed Team: The University of Iowa NICU Redefines What’s Possible
Episode Sponsors
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Our NICU Roadmap is the only NICU journal parents will need. Our journal is a great resource for NICU parents with educational content, answers to many of their questions, a full glossary plus specific areas to document their baby’s progress each day while in the NICU. Our NICU Roadmap equips parents with questions to ask their baby’s care team each day as well as a designated place to keep track of their baby’s weight, lab values, respiratory settings, feedings, and the plan of care each day. Most importantly, Our NICU Roadmap guides parents and empowers them so they can confidently become and remain an active member of their baby’s care team.
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Episode 76
Our Guest
Jamie Summers, DNP, APRN, NNP-BC
Jamie Summers is a board-certified Neonatal Nurse Practitioner who has dedicated her entire nursing career to maternal-child health. She earned her Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) from the University of Illinois at Chicago in 2019 and began her nursing journey after receiving her Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Lakeview College of Nursing. Jamie has been a nurse since 2012 and previously earned a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
Jamie’s path to neonatal care was deeply personal. She was inspired to pursue nursing after the loss of her first child, Peyton, who passed away at 12 days old. This experience shaped her passion for bereavement care and her belief that every life, no matter how small, matters.
Outside of work, Jamie finds joy in spending time with her two children — a 14-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son — and loves cheering them on in their activities. Her professional and personal experiences continue to fuel her compassionate approach to neonatal and family-centered care.
Peyton’s Story
Jamie shares the story of her daughter, Peyton, and the profound impact becoming a mother had on her life. After an unexpected pregnancy, Jamie and her husband were still settling into married life when everything changed. Shortly after learning she was pregnant, her husband was deployed overseas with the Air Force, leaving Jamie to navigate pregnancy on her own. “I wasn’t feeling very well and took a pregnancy test — it was very quickly positive,” she recalls with a laugh. “I thought it was due to the bag of oranges I had eaten that day!”
When Peyton was born on March 9, 2010, Jamie describes that moment as life-changing: “It was just the most overwhelming feeling — becoming a mom. You look at your baby and realize they instantly become the most important thing in your world.” She remembers looking at her daughter and thanking God for a healthy baby, blissfully unaware that their time together would be heartbreakingly short.
Only a few days after bringing her home, Peyton developed a fever. Remembering her pediatric nurse practitioner’s words to go straight to the ER if her temperature rose above 100.4, Jamie and her husband rushed her in. Peyton was admitted to the NICU, but because Jamie herself was running a fever from the flu, she was not allowed to be at her Peyton’s bedside initially. “I remember not being allowed in because I had to be fever-free for 24 hours,” she shared.
As Peyton’s condition worsened, she was transferred to a children’s hospital for more intensive care. “They said she wasn’t getting better, but she wasn’t getting worse either,” Jamie recalled. “Then, once she got there, it was like one organ failed right after another.” Despite every effort by her care team, Peyton’s tiny body began to shut down.
Jamie recalled. “Ultimately, we decided to withdraw treatment because … she had no brain activity anymore.” She also needed emergency dialysis, and the care team shared with them that she may not survive the surgery. As Jamie sadly said, “just the thought of that as a mom, you know, you don’t want your baby to die in an OR.”
Together with her medical team, they made the agonizing decision to withdraw life support. So Jamie held Peyton as she passed away. “I remember them extubating her, and she passed away in my arms. And I think that’s the worst moment of anybody’s life. Peyton passed away peacefully in Jamie’s arms on March 21, just shy of two weeks old.
Jamie remembers that day vividly: “Leaving that NICU without a baby… it was such a beautiful day in Tucson. And you’re walking out knowing you’ll never see her again here on this earth.”
Finding Purpose Through Peyton
In the midst of unimaginable grief, Jamie found herself searching for purpose. “After she passed away, I just kind of needed a purpose because she had passed away,” she recalls. “I had quit my job… and so I applied [to nursing school] and got in.”
Nursing had always been in the back of her mind, but losing Peyton made it clear what her heart was meant to do. The compassionate and skilled nurses who cared for Peyton left a lasting impression — their kindness during her darkest days inspired her to follow in their footsteps.
That decision became a turning point in Jamie’s life. She started her nursing career in obstetrics before transitioning to the NICU, where she found her true calling.
Jamie said that becoming a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner was something she never would have done without Peyton’s influence. “My whole life changed after Peyton. I would never have been a neonatal nurse practitioner.”
Through Peyton’s short but powerful life, Jamie discovered a lifelong mission — to care for the most vulnerable babies and to stand beside families walking through moments of fear, uncertainty, and love.
The Wave of Light
After Peyton’s passing, Jamie began searching for others who could truly understand the depth of her grief. “I frantically started searching for support groups,” she remembers. “Grief is like… I wouldn’t say I was suicidal or anything, but I definitely did not care if I lived or died. I was just very much like, how am I going to ever live again?”
It was through these support groups — especially the online communities of bereaved mothers — that Jamie began to find hope. “It was the support groups of the moms of other babies and seeing them live and seeing them function again in life that really got me through everything,” she shared. “That and my faith.”
Within those groups, Jamie also learned about the Wave of Light, a global remembrance event held each year on October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. “I just got the idea — why do we have to light these candles inside? Why can’t we put them outside?” she recalled.
Wanting to give back to the mothers who had carried her through her darkest days, Jamie decided to create luminaries not only for Peyton, but also for their babies. “I made luminaries because I thought that was something I could do for them — just to remember their babies too, because they’d done so much for me.”
What began with about thirty luminaries on her driveway has grown into a breathtaking tribute that now honors over 2,000 babies each year. “I do it mainly for the people that are newly bereaved,” Jamie explained. “I love that they can see their baby’s name lit up. And I know what it means to them, because I remember what it meant to me.”
Through the love and support of other grieving mothers, Jamie found her way forward — creating something that not only honors Peyton, but also lifts the hearts of countless parents, helping them see light again through the gentle glow of remembrance.
The Power of Being Remembered
For parents who have lost a child, hearing their baby’s name spoken aloud can be one of the most meaningful gifts anyone can offer. It’s a simple act, but one that says, I remember. I see you. I honor your baby’s life.
Jamie shared how deeply it touches her when others remember Peyton: “It’s kind of weird when people ignore her,” she said. “I get excited to talk about her and to say her name.” Even fifteen years later, that connection remains powerful. “She was so important to my life. My whole life changed after Peyton. I still grieve her, I still think about her, and I still wonder where we would be and what we would be doing. There’s always an emptiness in my life — there always will be — but it means so much when people remember her.”
Both Nicole and Jamie reflected on how simple gestures can bring comfort to grieving parents — a text on a birthday or anniversary, a message on Mother’s Day, or a moment to say, I’m thinking of you. Even acknowledging that you don’t have the right words can be deeply meaningful.
As Nicole shared, “It just means so much to know that others are thinking of you during those hard times — that they remember your baby, but also remember you.”
Grief looks different for everyone, but kindness, compassion, and remembering — those small gestures — can shine the brightest light in someone’s darkest season.
Carrying the Light Forward
Jamie’s story is a powerful reminder that grief is not something to be fixed or forgotten — it’s something to be carried, shared, and lifted at times in the most unexpected ways — just like seeing your baby’s name glowing softly on a beautifully decorated luminary.
If you’d like to have your baby’s name honored by a luminary during the Wave of Light, please email her or find the link for the event in the show notes to submit their name and be part of this beautiful tradition of remembrance.
Also, look for local events or ways your community honors babies lost too soon during the Wave of Light on Wednesday, October 15th at 7 p.m. your local time — or simply light a candle in your home to honor your baby, or to pause and remember all the babies gone too soon and the families forever touched by their loss.
Wave of Light Event and Contact Information
Wave of Light: October 15th at 7 pm
Contact Jamie Summers: jksummers2@gmail.com
Closing
I want to sincerely thank Jamie for joining me on the podcast and for sharing her deeply personal story — and for sharing Peyton with all of us. Her courage to speak about her journey and her daughter’s life helps keep Peyton’s light shining while bringing comfort, connection, and hope to so many other families who have experienced loss.
Jamie’s story is a powerful reminder that even in life’s most heartbreaking moments, light can still break through the darkness. What began as one mother’s way to honor her daughter, Peyton, has grown into a breathtaking Wave of Light that now shines for more than 2,000 babies each year — each one loved, remembered, and never forgotten.
Through her courage, faith, and unwavering compassion, Jamie shows us that grief is not something to be fixed or forgotten — it’s something to be carried, shared, and lifted at times in the most unexpected ways — just like seeing your baby’s name glowing softly on a beautifully decorated luminary. And in doing so, she lifts up the hearts of so many bereaved mothers, fathers, and parents — just like me — who long to see their babies remembered and their stories honored.
Her journey reminds us that love continues beyond loss, and that hope can take the shape of something truly beautiful. If you’ve experienced loss, please know you’re not alone. And if you’d like to have your baby’s name honored by a luminary during Jamie’s Wave of Light, please email her or find the link for the event in the show notes to submit their name and be part of this beautiful tradition of remembrance.
Also, look for local events or ways your community honors babies lost too soon during the Wave of Light on Wednesday, October 15th at 7 p.m. your local time — or simply light a candle in your home to honor your baby, or to pause and remember all the babies gone too soon and the families forever touched by their loss.
Thank you for listening, for holding space for these stories, and for helping us continue to honor all the babies gone too soon.
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